


Change In Little Steps

by RandomGuygoesviral



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Good Ending (OMORI), Reconciliation, Recovery, Texting, ish, sunny has trauma man, you can read into this being sunnflower or suntan if you wanna lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29572965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomGuygoesviral/pseuds/RandomGuygoesviral
Summary: Things can change fast. Too fast, at times. And when it's too fast it can be... scary. For Sunny, two weeks can feel the same as ever but also completely different all at once.
Relationships: Basil & Sunny (OMORI), Kel & Sunny (OMORI)
Kudos: 91





	Change In Little Steps

**Author's Note:**

> me: im probably gonna write more omori stuff in the future!   
> me: *writes an almost 2k word fic the day after i post the last one*
> 
> uh! i hope its not too painfully obvious that i have no idea what im talking about when it comes to violins ;^^ i play several string instruments, but no classical ones happen to be among those!
> 
> writing from sunny's perspective is fun, though! i hope i do it justice!

Time was… a fickle thing, really. Two weeks. A lot can change in two weeks. Or three days.  _ Or one night _ . Two weeks. 

Adjusting to a new environment was… not going particularly well, no. Sunny found himself staying up where he might have previously slept the day away. Part of him was almost scared that he’d go right back to where he was if he went to sleep. And when he did rest? Nightmares plagued him, no longer a world of escapism and denial waiting for him in rest. 

He sighed, little more than a puff of air, and stared down at his desk. Crumbled scraps of paper littered it, torn out and discarded from a sketchbook. Art was… it was an outlet, if nothing else. Sunny didn’t consider himself especially good- if the failed doodles were any indication. There was a certain freedom to it, though, drawing wasn’t quite as restricting as he found… other forms of expression. 

A knot formed in his chest as he thought back to the case in the back of his room, opened only once. It was a moving gift from his mother, he couldn’t just… refuse it. Part of him wanted desperately to smash it. The violin was much too pretty for that, though. There was a sunflower burned elegantly into the wood on the body, the chinrest and tailpiece were rosewood. 

Part of him wanted to pick it up and play it until his fingertips went numb. Feeling familiar but still foreign notes drift in the air around him. Too much pressure came out of that instrument, those songs he’d once practiced to perfection. But a part of him still… missed it. 

Sunny was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of beeping. That was- ah it was a message. Maybe it wasn’t good to have the computer open as often as he did, but it was the closest thing he had to an escape. He blinked, eyes scanning for the source. Idly, he moved to open the message. There was only one person who’d reach out so late. Or… at all, really. 

The text read,“Um! Hey, Sunny! Uh. Sorry for… reaching out so late. But it says you’re still online! So! Hi!” 

The nervous energy in the message was palpable. As it was whenever Basil did just about anything, really. Sunny didn’t mind, though. He’d found himself used to it, after making an effort to stay in contact with his friend. He was just about as natural sounding when it came to text conversation, in anycase. 

“hello basil.” He waited for a beat before deciding to add at least a  _ bit _ more to it than that. “its late, yes.” 

“Right! Haha yeah! Four am sure is!... A late time to be awake! Yeah. What are you up to?” 

“drawing. you?” 

“Uh!! Nothing! I’m existing, I guess?” 

“mhm.” 

The typing stopped for a while. Sunny felt nervous, just slightly. He knew he had a habit of being  _ too _ dull through text. It had been something Basil had commented on once. Maybe it made him uncomfortable? Should he… try to be a bit more expressive? That… that’d feel forced, though. Basil would see right through that. 

“Um… I do. Actually… have something a little more serious to ask, though.” 

Oh. 

“yes?” 

It seemed like Basil was having trouble writing his next message, typing, stopping, and then beginning to type again. A few times over. 

“Has anyone else… reached out at all?” 

**Oh.**

He looked at the messenger. Unread messages from Kel. Of course Kel was the one quickest to reach out. Sunny wouldn’t have expected any less of him. He’d always been quick to forgive. Aubrey and Hero both needed more time, if they’d ever approach him again at all. Kel, though? This made sense for him.

That begged the question, though: was Sunny going to lie to Basil? Would he say that no one reached out? Would he lie and pretend he’d spoken to Kel? Would he be a liar? His breathing went sharp for a moment and he squeezed his eyes shut. No no- he couldn’t really be panicking over something like this?

Why was it so hard to just! Admit this? He should be just fine! It was simple. All he had to say was that Kel had reached out but he hadn’t found it in him to respond. All he had to say was that he was a  **_coward_ ** . No- no. He… wasn’t. Calm down, Sunny, calm down. 

He gasped out a shaky breath, willing himself to steady his breathing. He was fine… he was okay. Basil wouldn’t be mad at him. If anyone could understand, it would be Basil. Sunny was okay.

“kel. i havent read the messages, though.” He braced himself.

“Oh! Yeah, that’s… that’s Kel, huh? Are you ever gonna respond?” A sigh of relief. 

“not sure.”

“I… think you should. When you’re ready, of course!” 

“maybe.” 

Basil dipped offline after that. Polly had probably woken up and scolded him for being on the computer so late. It once again left Sunny alone with his thoughts, though. And soon enough, his mind drifted back to the once-opened violin case in the corner of his room. Maybe… maybe one song wouldn’t hurt. If the notes felt wrong, he could stop playing. 

Right. 

The walls were soundproof enough that he wasn’t worried about being too loud. He stood up from his desk, knees almost buckling. Be it from exhaustion or from how long he’d been sitting in the same position, he didn’t know. Sunny composed himself and stumbled over to the case. Even the case itself was pretty. Sturdy, sleek, black and gold.  **Intimidating** . 

He opened it. There it was, just as pretty as he remembered. He dug through the case, trying to find rosin. It was a new instrument, he hadn’t played it before, so he’d have to rosin the bow. Mom had said that it was pre-tuned, so he didn’t have to worry about that, at least. Sunny always had to tune it by ear and was… glad he wouldn’t have to go through hearing the sour notes just yet. 

Delaying the inevitable with preparation would have been nice, though. You can only rosin a bow so much before you ruin the sound. Sunny reached for the violin before flinching and drawing his hand back. Deep breaths… it was okay. He was okay. He was strong enough to be okay. Even if he was… scared.

Sunny took the violin in his hands, resting his chin on the rest. His heart drummed in his chest, no matter how he tried to ignore it. The way his hands shook would make it sound muddled. All this’d do was make him feel stupid. This was stupid he was so stupid! Why did he think he could do this?

_ Calm down, Sunny. _

He shut his eyes, letting instinct overcome fear as his fingertips glided into position. The bow made contact, just barely, with the strings. It squeaked. He flinched. This was the first time he’d properly played in years, squeaking at first was okay. It was okay. 

A soft melody filled the air. It wasn’t perfect, not by any means, but it wasn’t terrible. The muscle memory was still there, after so much time. Not perfect, Sunny couldn’t expect himself to be perfect, but it was alright. And that was enough.

As the last note faded out, he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Panic made him shove the instrument right back in the case and slam it shut, but that was a given. He was oddly almost… proud of himself for facing that. Almost. He wondered if Mari would- no. No, he had to stop thinking like that.

Maybe, though. If he could manage to do that… he could- no. no. He could at least check? He could check. Checking wouldn’t hurt. At least it’d show that he wasn’t dead. Which was hopefully a little bit assuring. 

He sat back at his desk.

“heeeeey sunny! its kel lol.”

“ik stuff ended kinda rough ladt time we talked but ur still my friend! i wanna make sure u know that!” 

“*last, typo” 

… A faint smile found its way onto Sunny’s lips. That was Kel, alright. He was too forgiving for his own good. Kel held grudges, sure, but those were… different. Equal parts forgiving and stubborn, he was. It was a strength as much as it was a weakness. 

Against his own better judgement, Sunny found his hands on his keyboard. One message wouldn’t hurt, right? It was simple, truly. Just one, was all. It… was fine. 

“thank you, kel.” 

Kel was very suddenly online. He slept like a rock, how did this manage to… it was like five in the morning! How? This- no… no no. Oh Sunny was  _ such _ a moron. He was typing. 

“UR NOT DEAD.”

“IM GONNA BE HONEST DUDE I DIDNT ECPECT U 2 RESPOND” 

“*EXPEXT”

“*EXPECR”

“OH FORGET IT” 

… Kel is Kel. That is a universal constant. Sunny was alright with that, to be honest. 

“its very early. what are you doing awake?” 

“WELL HERO IS LEAVING TODAY SO IM UP EARLY TO DEND HIM OFF”

“oops forgot 2 turn off caps lock lol” 

Hero was… oh, right. He had better things to do than focus on the kid who killed his girlfriend. He was in school, training to be a doctor. That was important, he had to focus on that. So soon, though. That must have sucked. Sunny wondered how it would have felt for Mari to- no, never mind. 

Going to school full-time was a heavy obligation. It was good that Hero was getting an education. At least that way Sunny could make up an excuse for why he wouldn’t talk to him. Maybe that was selfish of him to think, though. No, it absolutely was. 

“i hope you have a good day, then.” 

“why r u awake sunny???”

Ah… he hadn’t been expecting to have the question turned on him. Anxiety bubbled in his chest. He didn’t want to lie but he- he wasn’t expecting this. It was too fast, he couldn’t handle a casual conversation like this, as if nothing ever happened. 

“i was just about to go back to sleep. i woke up earlier and couldnt get back to bed.” 

“OHHH! GO SLEEP THEN!!!”

Thank god. It… Sunny technically hadn’t lied. He just didn’t say exactly how much earlier he’d woken up, was all. That… didn’t stop him from feeling guilty. Tiredly, he turned the computer off, staring at his dark reflection in the screen. He shuffled to bed. Despite the fact that he likely wouldn’t be able to sleep, it was at least… a little more comfortable. 

Baby steps, Sunny. Maybe one day he’d have the will to play more songs. Maybe he’d have a proper conversation with Kel. But… not yet. He didn’t have to rush.  _ It was okay to take his time _ .

... He’d forgotten to finish that drawing from earlier. 

**Author's Note:**

> the direction of this fic changed completely from the original concept but im still happy with it.
> 
> as always: i hope you enjoyed!! please feel free to leave a comment or maybe even a kudos! feedback is always appreciated!!


End file.
